We spent most of Christmas Eve night and Christmas early morning at the hospital with Brenna as her tiny, fragile body fought hard against an aggressive infection. She is so prone to infection because of both the fissures in her skin and because her umbilical line is still open because it’s the only means they have for giving her medicine, etc. Evan was at the hospital with her to say good night when they received her bloodwork back from earlier in the day showing that she was positive for an infection. Because they got the results back so quickly, it indicated it was pretty aggressive, and they quickly called me to the hospital.
I felt so helpless as I sat there pleading with God throughout the night, again and again, “Please don’t take my baby girl on Christmas.”
The main concern was her breathing, and they had started to give her oxygen. If her breathing became bad enough, the only other option would be to go to a respirator. They have told us from the beginning that this is practically an impossible option – it is extremely difficult to do this for tiny babies anyway, and the respirator must be placed in a very specific position down her mouth and not moved. With her skin the way it is, attaching the respirator is, like I said, pretty much impossible, not to mention would likely be extremely uncomfortable for Brenna.
It was the worst feeling in my entire life as Evan and I sat there with the doctors discussing the likelihood of having to say goodbye to our precious girl. We were so torn between wanting to try everything in our power to save her life, and facing the reality that choosing to insert a respirator would most likely only inflict pain on her, which we absolutely do not want. When the doctor and nurse told us that if we decided against the respirator, they would make her “as comfortable as possible while her breathing deteriorated,” we could do nothing but sob.
We are so thankful that Evan’s childhood pastor who married us answered our call at 1 a.m. and came to the hospital to baptize Brenna Helen Marie. It soothed our souls to have her baptized.
They ended up then doing more tests at 1:30 and again at 5 a.m., and they showed slight improvements in her blood, and for the time being, she was as stable as she could be. By that point, we were past the point of exhaustion and decided to try to get a couple of hour’s sleep at home.
This morning, we talked to the nurse and Brenna’s lung saturation is up to 95%, which is really good, and though she is still on oxygen, it is at lower levels. PRAISE GOD.
We are by no means past this infection, but our little girl is showing us that she is a fighter. We continue to ask for your prayers as, God willing, Brenna continues to fight through this.