Which way will your water fall?

Late January and early February dealt us some unseasonably warm weather here in the Midwest, but now it looks like winter has settled in, keeping us inside for a while. Womp womp.

So while we’re stuck inside, we decided to bring the outside in to us. One recent lazy weekend day, we pulled swimsuits out of storage and set up the new Step2 Waterfall Discovery Wall right in our kitchen. (A big shout-out to Step2 for sending us this fantastic newly released toy to review!)cIMG_5094

I saw a prototype of the Waterfall Wall when I visited Step2’s headquarters last year, and I was really hoping they would decide to produce it! Connor has been asking about it ever since I showed him the photos. ( A fun FYI, Step2 creates toys first in a material like hardened foam before they decide which ones to ultimately produce in plastic.)
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When I saw the Waterfall Discovery Wall was released as part of the new spring toy line from Step2, I jumped on ordering it. We have had a Step2 Water Table (this one!) since Connor was a baby, and both kids still play with it every single year. It has far outlasted the kiddie pools and kids’ sprinklers we’ve owned.

What I love best about our water table is how easy it is to set up and put away… when it comes to blowing up pools, I’m totally over it after 30 seconds. And I knew it would be the same convenience with the Waterfall Wall. I can’t wait to pull this out the entire summer.cIMG_5073

Being vertical means that kids of all sizes can easily play – which works out nicely for us, with having one bigger kid and one smaller one. And bonus – if your kids need their own space, they can each play on a different side of the wall :) Again, this is a plus for our family, because one of our kids is a major splasher and one prefers to keep the water out of her eyes, thank you very much.cIMG_5065

The Waterfall Discovery Wall comes with a lot of different spinners, funnels and zig zags, so you can set up different “courses” for the water. Water usually tends to feel too cold for Brenna – she doesn’t want to get in pools past her feet – so I really love that she can play with the wall without having to immerse in the water at all.

“That water is getting awfully close to my face…”cIMG_5050

I don’t really mind winter (love my leggings and boots), but the kids are swooning over their outdoor toys again, and I have to admit I’m starting to look forward to more sunshine and outside play this spring. I’m really excited to have our new Waterfall Discovery Wall to set up in the backyard and let the kids’ imaginations run free with creating all kinds of obstacle courses and games they can dream up…

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Saying something is more important than what is said

I see the posts every time I scroll through Facebook or Pinterest, with bright, clearly labeled graphics that jump out as people share them across social media.

“10 things not to say to parents of preemies.”

“5 things you should never say to someone who is grieving.”

“8 phrases no special needs mom wants to hear.”

If there’s a group or a role or a label, there is an article for you: moms, dads, grandparents, those dealing with death, special needs parents, teenagers, toddlers, NICU parents, mothers who have miscarried, people with depression, veterans… and the list goes on and on. What not to say, don’t say this, don’t say that.

But eventually, all we hear is DON’T SAY.

Where we may hope to ward off insensitive comments with our lists of what not to say, what we are doing instead is causing people not to say anything at all. For fear of offending or causing hurt or saying the “wrong” thing, we are creating a world where people are scared of reaching out, of trying to connect, of showing others that they do, in fact, truly care.

I’ve read these lists, and most of what are on them have been said to me. I’ve been told many times over that God gives special children to special parents, that God doesn’t give us more than what we can handle, that I’m inspiring as a special needs mother, that everything happens for a reason.

But here’s what I’ve learned – because of, within and despite all of these words and phrases: the very essence of saying something, of being there and being present for someone else, is more important than what is said.

Yes, there are deliberately cruel and very insensitive comments, but these are an exception and shouldn’t be given any value.

Most often, it is not what is said that matters, but how it is said and why it is said. The truth is that in times of such immense and overwhelming grief or struggle, most words do sound hollow. Usually, there are no words that can convey the depths of despair caused by many uncertain situations like a critically premature birth or an unexpected diagnosis or the death of a loved one.

It’s when we listen beyond the words that we can hear the real sounds emerging: love and compassion.

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When Brenna was born, and in the months and even years following, so many people reached out from all periods of our lives – from old music instructors to high school coaches and teachers to college friends we hadn’t spoken with since graduation. I remember very few of the actual words said, but I remember every single person who was there for us, who made it a point to take time from their lives to reach out and express care and love for our family. I also remember those people who didn’t say anything. I’m sure they felt awkward or uncomfortable or didn’t know how to convey what they wanted to – but what it felt like on the other end is that they didn’t care.

Making the time to say something to those in your life who are hurting, who need encouragement or who deserve a congratulations is one of the simplest and most meaningful ways of caring for those around us.

It is easy to avoid situations or experiences when we feel uncomfortable or aren’t sure of the right words. However, the timing may never be right and the words may never feel right – but expressing love and care is always the right decision over saying nothing at all.

Sometimes, instead of taking offense to every phrase that feels not enough when we are hurting, we need to stop listening to the actual words so that we can hear the love when someone makes the time and effort to be there for us in the best way they know how.

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